Scenes We'd Like to See: Series 10, Episode 9
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the ninth episode of the tenth series. Key * HD - Hugh Dennis * CA - Chris Addison * GD - Greg Davies * AP - Andy Parsons * SE - Simon Evans * MF - Micky Flanagan Topics Unlikely Things to Hear In a Police Station MF - Hey Sarge, the microwave's broken again. Taser that meat pie for me, will you mate? HD - I know it's unlikely, but I don't suppose anyone's handed in Colonel Gaddafi, have they? AP - I noticed the burglar making his escape. At this moment, I cursed the police cutbacks and gave chase shouting "nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw." CA - (Camp voice) All units be on the look for a purple Renault Clio, registration number Saffron, Doyley, 2, 2, Bonjela, Chrysanthemum, Hiya! HD - No, we didn't manage to evict many of them, Sarge, but the good news is, I got some lucky heather. AP - No, I've not come to report a crime. It's just that I really miss The Bill so I thought I'd pop in for an hour. MF - Hey, Sarge, pass us the arts section out of The Guardian, will you, mate? HD - (Foreign accent) Yes, yes, I know how identity parade works. That's her! That's her! That's the woman I robbed! GD - Right, listen up, we've got a new man starting. He's half-man, half-horse: It's Inspector Morse. SE - Ah, yes, our new 50-inch plasma TV. It is rather nice. Well, if you can't beat them, eh... HD - I am charging you with the murder of Mrs. Thompson. That will be £7.19 please. GD - Right, listen up, there's a giant fly attacking the station. I've called the SWAT team. AP - Thank God you've arrived, Officer! Some bloke just jumped into the boot of my car and shot himself fourteen times. CA - We got the Tocks report back: It turns out they go straight after the Ticks. MF - I was about to arrest her, Sarge, but I'll be honest, my bottle went cause she shouted out "I PUT A CURSE UPON YOU! I PUT A CURSE UPON YOU!" Unlikely Things to Hear in a Science Documentary CA - Having cloned Ian Wright, we now know that two Ian Wrights don't make an Ian Wrong. MF - Erectile dysfunction: Physical problem or has the wife let herself go a bit? HD - Well, this is incredible, this is a whole new species of miniature tiger! Oh no, hang on, it's a cat. SE - Now pay attention, here comes the shampoo bit! CA - We've discovered the source of the quark. It's the sound made by a posh duck. HD - This is a red dwarf. His name is Antony Worrall Thompson. AP - Welcome to The Sky at Night, and if we look out... Oh hell, Croydon's on fire! CA - Despite getting a very bad press, biological weapons work at much lower temperatures that non-biological weapons. AP - Without penicillin, well, I'd still be cursing that day I went to Bangkok. MF - Tonight, we look at the ginger community: Physical anomaly or God's cruel joke? AP - Ahh, the Northern Lights. Oh no, Manchester's on fire! HD - But will they find a cure in time? The last hope for mankind lies with scientists here, at the Laboratoire Garnier. MF - Tonight on Show Me the Evidence, we look at the traveler community: Can they really put a curse on you? GD - And as the sperm swim towards the eggs, it's hard not to think that I've ruined this fried breakfast. AP - I'm never again going to have a fried breakfast! Category:Scenes We'd Like To See